1) if you’re feeling a bit under the weather, and some nice men and women from  EVAC offer you a ride, go with it, because really, how often do we get chauffeured around town these days?

2) demanding the gods remove the rain-clouds may seem like a good idea at first but keep in mind they are the only thing between you and the sun…

3) only at volusia county ppd does it require two rolls of packing tape and a bag of two dozen balloons to result in four frickin’ balloons taped to a couple of signs that nobody really saw any way.

4) european elder is a glorious, tall, sacred tree.  american elder is a small, poisonous shrub… did they just run out of names when they crossed the ocean, or is there a political message somewhere in that?

5) no, i don’t care what candle corresponds with what element, just light them all, dammit, and let the  gods figure it out later.

6) realizing that this is florida, and our event is held outdoors on a grassy area, perhaps sensible footwear is in order?  there’s an easy mathematical formula for figuring this out… ” (Barefoot/Sandals)*Exposed Foot-Flesh = FIRE  ANT LUNCH. ”

7) i know we had planned for chocolate wine and four varieties of pudding for our cakes and ale ceremony, so how did we end up with blue sugar-juice and plain ‘nilla wafers?!

8) if you’re manning the grill, make sure you actually have something on it when you notice the video camera panning toward you.  flipping air-burgers may seem like a good idea, but the camera tends to pick up those little details…

9) try not to inhale a bug when you’re taking a deep breath in for a chakra chant… it throws off your energy somewhat.

10) just because it says ‘easy-up tent’ on the side, doesn’t necessarily mean its ‘easy-DOWN’ too.  especially when you need a screwdriver bit, a hammer, and a blood-pact with satan to push the damn buttons in.

and a bonus…

11) we underestimated just how dangerous the ketchup and relish situation was, so next year we will be developing a two-hour, online certification program for proper condiment usage.  under no circumstances will anyone who does not successfully complete this course be allowed anywhere near the slap-chop.